idk

You don't realise what this is doing to me.
Why would you?
You don't know. No one knows.
Knowing that you're in the same situation I was in only a year ago sickens me.
Not only because I know exactly how you feel,
not only because I know how tough it is,
but because I suffered alone.
There are numerous people out there who have helped you get through this.
Yet I had no one.
I'm helping you because I love you and I couldn't bare it if you to ended up how I did.
Saying your making yourself sick is one thing, but actually doing it is another matter.
For months I struggled on my own.
Making each day worse and worse for myself.
Of course, the people who loved me worried about me.
But I pushed everybody who did care away from me,
up the the point where they gave up on me,
like I gave up on myself.
Supporting you now only makes me wish I'd have dealt with things differently myself.
You've been like this for days, whereas I was for months.  
I'm helping you because I care, not because I have to,
but I'm not sure of long I will last.
You'll never understand, I will never understand,  no one will ever understand what this is doing to me.

It's hard to put my feelings right now into words.