Sophieearnyy

You don't realise what this is doing to me.
Why would you?
You don't know. No one knows.
Knowing that you're in the same situation I was in only a year ago sickens me.
Not only because I know exactly how you feel,
not only because I know how tough it is,
but because I suffered alone.
There are numerous people out there who have helped you get through this.
Yet I had no one.
I'm helping you because I love you and I couldn't bare it if you to ended up how I did.
Saying your making yourself sick is one thing, but actually doing it is another matter.
For months I struggled on my own.
Making each day worse and worse for myself.
Of course, the people who loved me worried about me.
But I pushed everybody who did care away from me,
up the the point where they gave up on me,
like I gave up on myself.
Supporting you now only makes me wish I'd have dealt with things differently myself.
You've been like this for days, whereas I was for months.  
I'm helping you because I care, not because I have to,
but I'm not sure of long I will last.
You'll never understand, I will never understand,  no one will ever understand what this is doing to me.

It's hard to put my feelings right now into words.

Wow.
Last night was literally perfect.
I cannot describe the way you make me feel.
The ecstasy I gain when I'm around you,
causes a pointless smile to appear on my face.
The way you pull me in closer towards your body.
The way you kiss my lips gently.
The way your hands touch my skin.
The way you've become more relaxed and confident around me.
The way I can be my absolute self around you.
The way I feel safe and completely free when I sleep next to you.

Sighhhh, I would do anything for that night to happen all over again.

I really should revise for maths but effort.

I hate people like you.
Why does it make it ok for you to throw insults at other people for no reason whatsoever,
and then expect nothing back?
Then, what you do get back, you can't take.
It's not smart, or cool or even funny.
No.
It just makes you look like a cunt.
Except you don't see that do you?
When will you realise that you're extremely childish.
You know full well you have a dislikeable personality,
But this is just you.
You trying to seek attention, which is apparently the thing you hate most about other people.
I'm glad we're no longer associated with each other.
I'm glad I never 'came back to you'.
I never have and I never will.
You are a pathetic boy who who likes too much 'banter'
which, if you ask me, is the wrong world entirely.
You're just trying to cause trouble.
By making up an endless list of lies and making it public on social networking sites.

Ps. Don't arselick your new 'best friend' either. It makes you look even more silly.

RANT OVER YEY.

It's weird when you call.
You pretend not to notice me in public.
Like I don't exist, like I never did.
It's been like this for a year now.
But,
there's something that has never changed.
The way you text me,
the way you speak to me over the phone.
It's strange.
It's like I do exist, I'm not invisible.
After all this time, I've healed from the pain you caused me.
But something inside of me, tells me that you haven't.
You said you will always be sorry for what you did.
Whether I believe or not, is a different matter.
Perhaps you're afraid to look at me,
perhaps you're afraid to see what I've become.
A strong, independent person.
Not the fragile, weak person I used to be.

Perhaps...who knows.